🌊Like the Sea, I Kept Coming Back

 “It is the sea pursues a habit of shores.” Gabu by Carlos A. Angeles

The sea never stops moving.

It crashes, pulls away, and always comes back. In the poem Gabu by Carlos A. Angeles, the sea is wild and restless  just like life when it feels full of pain and uncertainty. Reading this poem reminded me of a time in my life when I felt like I was being pulled under by wave after wave… but somehow, I kept returning just like the sea returns to the shore.

🌧️ When Everything Felt Like a Storm

When I was 13, I lost my father to COVID-19. It happened so fast. One day he was at home, then suddenly, he was gone. I didn’t even get to say goodbye.

Everything in my life changed. My father was my hero  strong, supportive, loving. Losing him felt like the ground beneath me had disappeared. At school, I could barely focus. At home, the silence was heavy. I kept everything inside because I didn’t know how to talk about the pain. Just like the sea in Gabu, life kept crashing into me. I felt like I was drowning in my own sadness.

🌤️ Trying to Stay Afloat

I didn’t heal overnight. I cried in secret, forced smiles at school, and pretended I was okay when I wasn’t. What helped me wasn't “letting go”  it was holding on to small things that gave me peace.

I listened to music that reminded me of better days. I started drawing again sometimes random shapes, sometimes things that reminded me of my dad. I even began talking to him in my thoughts, telling him about school and how much I missed him. These quiet, simple moments helped me survive the storm inside.

I realized that healing isn’t about forgetting. It’s about learning to keep moving, even when it hurts. Like the sea, I didn’t stop.. I just took my time.

🌅 Slowly Coming Back to Myself

I wouldn’t have made it without my mom and the rest of my family. My mom, even while she was grieving too, stayed strong for me. She told me stories about my dad, comforted me during my worst days, and reminded me that my father would want me to keep going.

My relatives showed up for me in their own ways by making me laugh, spending time with me, or simply being there when I needed someone. They reminded me that I was never alone.

Because of them, I slowly began to feel like myself again. I started enjoying the little things laughing more, playing basketball, and spending time by the beach. With their love and support, I didn’t just survive the pain I slowly found my way back to myself, one wave at a time.

🐚 What I Learned

The line in Gabu  “It is the sea pursues a habit of shores”  stayed with me. It reminds me that even when we drift away because of pain, grief, or fear, we can always return. Like the sea, we rise and fall, but we never stop moving forward.

Losing my dad changed my life. But it didn’t end it.
With love, time, and support from my family, I learned that I am stronger than the storm. I kept coming back. And I still am.

“You are not broken. You are becoming.”

📚 Author’s Note

This post was deeply inspired by the poem Gabu by Carlos A. Angeles. His words helped me understand that life, like the sea, is full of movement sometimes wild, sometimes calm but always in motion. If you are going through a storm, I hope you remember: You will come back. You are not alone.